The Timing of Children. Relational practices in late modern relationships

Abstract

Existing research on generativity and parenthood has often focused on modern stable long-term relationships. On the contrary this article focusses on late modern relationships, characterized by an undetermined degree of commitment, and analyzes the interactive practices which affect the timing of child bearing. Two cases drawn from a sample of 25 couples and individuals are contrasted. The first (modern) couple starts a family according to the pattern endorsed by West German institutions and culture. Their first child is born after they have achieved the normatively expected and subjectively desired preconditions for starting a family. This couple is contrasted with a woman engaged in late modern types of relationships. Her timing follows neither a predetermined nor a long-term plan. The reasons for her acceptance of unplanned pregnancies and her emotional impulses towards pregnancies within her late modern relationships are highly situational and individualized. The assumptions of a standardized cost-benefit calculus and rational long-term planning contribute little in explaining the timing of child bearing in late modern types of relationships, where the »right time« for a child in the modern sense does not exist.